Bathing Suit Browsing

This just cracks me up, and I must share it.  I was doing a little online browsing for the upcoming seasons’ new bathing suit, and I could not get over how much this models’ body looks like mine.  A few years ago, I pinky promised my right hand with my left hand that from that moment on, I would only wear the ‘skirtini’ suit.  It hides EVERYTHING, and I feel comfortable enough to spend the day at the pool with the kids and actually swim too, if I want. The only thing they are missing is an UNDERWIRE!!  Why do designers think that my boobs can fit in a shelf bra?  What is that all about?  However, if you are the SLIGHTEST bit concerned about how you look in a suit, this is the style for you.  I can play volleyball in it (if I wanted to, and if it were made with an underwire to accomodate DD’s), chat with the ladies, comfortably walk the entire length of the pool to the snack bar–without once picking my suit out of my butt, dress it up with heels (if I wanted to), wear matching jewelry like the model is sporting (if I wanted to), dance (I sometimes do this even though I sure miss the underwire), do laps (if I wanted to–but I’d have to stick the shelf bra back under my boobs BEFORE I get out of the water), dive off of the high dive (if I wanted to, cause these suits don’t come with underwires), slide down the water slide (I actually do). And the best part of all is that I really don’t have to suffer from razor burn anymore, cause nobody can see what is under the skirt except for little kids wearing goggles while I’m in the pool.  And, frankly, if they are that close to me it is only because I stayed in after the whistle blew for all the kids to jump back in the water and that rarely happens anymore as my kids do their own thing in the pool–at least they did last summer.  Soooooo, with all that being said, I’m still chuckling to myself.  Okay, so her body does not look exactly like mine, I’m a bit shapelier and definitely much, much whiter.  In fact, I’m so white that I’m blue.  Which happens every winter. You can see a lot of veins, whiteness and long black hair on my legs.  Which reminds me.  Buy your razors now, ladies.  After February all the razors in pink, lilac and peach drastically increase in price for ‘vacation’ season.  This happens even if you are not going on vacation.  If you rush out now, I’m sure Target still has some left at a decent price.  If you wait a minute longer, they will be $10 a 3-pack for your basic ladies disposable.